Progressivism's inevitable next step

 

Coming soon to a college campus near you.

Allahu Akbar - What does it really mean?

Every time someone named Mohammed does something weird 'n wacky, the most recent example being this guy, the authorities assure us it has absolutely nothing to do with Islam, in spite of the fact that the perpetrator is either heard saying Allahu Akbar as he caries out the deed or has it written in his manifesto. Now normal people would assume that since Allahu Akbar means "Allah is great" and the aforesaid people named Mohammed always shout it as they fly planes into buildings, blow themselves up on crowded buses, or cut someone's head off, that their actions have plenty to do with Islam.

But maybe it doesn't mean what we think it means. Maybe all our authority figures have made an intense study of Arabic and found that there are other, completely innocuous meanings to the phrase. Given their fairly cavalier attitude towards Muslim terrorists, it must mean something like this:

"Excuse me, coming through!"
"Nothing to see here!"
"Can you direct me to the train station?"
"I'm walking here!" (NYC)
"Got any spare change?"
"Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
"I'm definitely not Muslim!"