From the Daily Mail

Britain Runs Out of Bubbles for Its Fizzy Drinks

We have had crippling heat, torrential rainstorms, a heart-wrenching World Cup defeat and the traditional early exit from Wimbledon.

Now, in a final blow to the British summer, the fizz is set to go out of our drinks.

Drinks manufacturers have revealed that the UK is suffering from a shortage of carbon dioxide - the gas dissolved in drinks such as Coca-Cola and Pepsi to create the refreshing bubbles.

A shortage of CO2? The dreaded greenhouse gas? The one that will destroy the planet if we don't regulate it out of existance?

The demand for carbonated drinks is at its highest during the summer months and they have been particularly popular as Britain sweltered under the recent heatwave.

But I thought the heatwave was caused by global warming brought on by an EXCESS of CO2?

But with local supplies of CO2 running low, manufacturers are being forced to ship it in from Eastern European countries.

The C&C Group - the Irish drinks company behind Magners cider, recently launched as an upmarket drink in the UK with a high-profile advertising campaign - is one of the firms worst hit.

Since last month, it has been bringing in emergency supplies of CO2 gas from Poland because of the shortage in the UK.

The crisis was caused by an explosion at one of the UK's biggest CO2-producing plants, based in Billingham, Teesside, which meant production had to be shut down when demand from the soft drinks industry was at its highest.

You mean they actually went out of their way to MANUFACTURE this evil gas? And now they're importing it from Poland, even though they're having a heat wave. Sheesh, no wonder we can't get this global warming thing under control.

The factory's parent company, Terra Nitrogen, is still repairing the damage caused by the incident on June 1.

To make fizzy drinks, carbon dioxide is injected into the liquid under high pressure so that large amounts are dissolved.

When the bottle or can is opened, the pressure is released and the carbon dioxide comes out of the solution, forming bubbles.

And then it makes its way into the atmosphere where it causes catastrophic global warming. For Shame you fizzy drink producers!

The carbonated drinks were inspired by mineral water from natural springs, which was said to have healing properties and was found to contain dissolved carbon dioxide.

But I thought there were no natural sources of CO2, just manmade ones? I mean, the Earth wouldn't destroy its own climate, would it?

The first artificial fizzy drink was made in 1772 by English clergyman and chemist Dr Joseph Priestley, who published a paper called Directions For Impregnating Water With Fixed Air and offered the resulting soda water to friends.

It was first made commercially by Jean Jacob Schweppe, who set up the Schweppes company in 1783.

Aha! The real culprit in global warming! Thanks to JJ Schweppe, we've been releasing CO2 from artificially fizzy drinks into the atmosphere since 1783! And they are still out there making ginger ale! Quick, somebody sue Schweppes and put an end to this madness!